12/31/20

 LAST DAY OF 2020! It's finally over. It will certainly be interesting to see what 2021 brings. I'll try to be better at posting this next year than I was this year. I seriously slacked off, especially in the summer. That's entirely on me. So sorry about that. I feel like the biggest thing that I got from this year is just such a huge appreciation for the people in my life. I'm so lucky to have the family I have, both immediate and extended. Not to mention my chosen family- my lasting friendships. I love my girls so much and honestly they got me through a lot of the tough times I went through this year. I don't know what I would do without them. That's a big reason why I decided to put a lot of effort into handmade gifts for each of them. I finally finished Kenny's today. So that's all five of them plus Patri. (I also have a gift for Derity and I'm planning to make one for Macy and for David too.) Today was good because I got to end the year with a FroYo trip with Rachel and Mary and Kennadee (Em's sister Ashley tested positive for COVID so we are trying to be safe and Megan had work) and then we had a Pierce family New Years Eve Party complete with both cheese and chocolate fondue. All in all it was a fantastic way to close out 2020. Now, I'll bombard you with some photos of the gifts I made for everyone and also some from today's activities!

Mary's Gift

Emily's Gift

Megan's Gift

Pat's Gift

Rachael's Gift

Kennadee's Gift

Rachel, Abbey and I tonight

Mary, me, Rach, and Kenns at FroYo today!

12/30/20

 Had another date (maybe date? I'm just calling it a date) with Douglas today. We met up in Provo at Don Joaquin's Street Tacos (a suggestion from Rachael) and each got some tacos and had lunch. We walked in probably around 11:45 AM and I'm not sure when we left exactly but likely no more than an hour later. We drove to the MOA at BYU and just walked around all the exhibits and talked and it was good and fun and easy. After we got through all five we walked back up to the main floor and checked the time and to both of our surprise it was already 5:00 PM. He mentioned that he likely had to leave soon if he wanted to be home in time for dinner with his family. We started walking towards the door but right before walking outside he was like, "Well is there anything else in Provo you wanted to show me while I'm here?" So we ended up going to the Creamery on 9th and getting ice cream and eating it in my car and talking for a little while longer until we finally said goodbye at like 6:00 PM. So we inadvertently (ish?) had a little over a six hour date but like I'm not even mad at all. I just genuinely enjoy spending time with this kid like holy cow. It helps that I think he's pretty cute too. But I don't want to get like too excited about it ya know? Cause what if he's just like, "Nah we're friends and I like hanging out but that's all." I don't necessarily get that vibe but still. I figure though no matter what happens he is someone that I at the very least want to have as a friend and so far that's working out!

12/29/20

 Dropped off Mary's gift and it was actually the most tender thing. As soon as I pulled it out to show her her eyes started watering and she wrapped me up in a hug and told me how much she loved it. It made my heart so happy to know that it meant so much to hear. I stayed at her house for a little while and chatted with her and her parents in their basement. Spending time with Mary today was good and wholesome and blessed.

12/28/20

 Drove to Provo today to drop off my gift to Rachael! I ended up staying for two and half hours and talking her ear off but man oh man I needed it. And Rachael is a wondrous listener and a particularly good advice giver. I'm very grateful for her in my life. She also gave me a sweet present, a plant! It's pinkish red and green and she said that it reminded her and Matt of me and my hair. I decided to name it Joyce and then painted it's pot and wrote the name across the top.

12/25/20

 Christmas! I got a vacuum and a portable desk that I can pop up on my bed and use for school. Additionally I got the full set of my favorite book series from Alicia, The Illuminae Files. Grandpa Pierce made each of the grandkids this really cool pen/pencil set. Mine is made from Caribbean Rosewood and it's legit so beautiful and I love it. We had our traditional cinnamon rolls and the later biscuits and gravy. Once again it was a more laid back holiday but still very very good. It's been nice to spend time with family, even if they're a little crazy sometimes. 

12/20/20

 Good news: I do not have COVID! Which is nice because now we can do family things over the holidays and not all have to quarantine but also less nice simply because if I did get COVID then I could get paid $100 per plasma donation afterward which would be lucrative. 

12/19/20

 Megan Rice had her bridal shower today and I only kind half way got to attend. I was waiting for results back from my COVID test since David tested positive and I'd been around him like five days before he got that result. Although I am like nearly a thousand percent sure that I don't have COVID I would rather play it safe than sorry and not inadvertently be somewhat directly responsible for the death of someone's grandma just because I wanted to go to a bridal shower. So instead I facetimed in on Kenny's phone and got to semi participate that way. I can't remember exactly what it was but I whistled at something that was said and the people sitting around Kenny were able to hear it and all busted up laughing. Even though I wasn't able to be there in person it was still fun to be able to be there to a degree!

12/18/20

 So I slept for twelve hours and it was luxurious. 

Additionally I drove home today for the break/holidays and I made it safely! 

12/17/20

 Derity got married today! I also almost died today. It's been a stressful day to say the least. A stressful week actually. Between calculus finals, last day of work at the tutoring center in Idaho Falls, making a wedding cake, white glove clean checks, and the bachelorette party and wedding I have been entirely and completely overwhelmed. 

Basically here is the rundown: I have my calculus final due on Wednesday night. Also on Wednesday night? Derity's bachelorette party. I managed to get my final done before the party but I didn't feel entirely confident. I didn't absolutely bomb it but I didn't do great either. There are still a few questions and things that need to be graded but I'm projecting that my final grade is likely to be a B or a B+, honestly at this point I'll take it. 

So we have the party, which included rock climbing (an activity that I now know I'm terrible at) and then dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Afterwards I drove to her house in St Anthony and gave her a bachelorette party appropriate present (I labeled it a "Honeymoon Kit") and then painted her nails for the wedding before driving back home. Once home I spent ALL night (I'm not kidding, I only got an hour and a half of sleep) cleaning for white glove. I wasn't even able to get it all done in time. Ellen and I were both up pretty much all night and Ellen, bless her soul, offered to finish up the final things for me since I had all the wedding stuff to do. 

So 10:00 AM rolls around and I head to St Anthony to the chapel they'll have the reception at to start prepping the cake, thinking that an hour and a half is plenty of time to get everything sorted out. WRONG. SO WRONG. Part of it is that I had originally planned on getting David's help but then he tested positive for COVID so that was a no go. I'd also planned on asking her family for a ride with them to the sealing (it was about a forty minute drive and I was exhausted plus my internet has been weird lately so I wasn't sure if I could get Google maps to work.) By the time I'd finished at least putting the tiers together I was already about ten minutes past when I'd thought people had been leaving so I walked out of the kitchen to find that everyone had already gone. So that was freaking dandy. 

The Idaho Falls Temple wouldn't pull up on Google maps, shocker, and so I frantically called my parents asking if they could look up the new wifi password for the Church. Eventually I got it and ran to my car worried that I was cutting it too close to the time I needed to be there for the sealing. I got stuck in the snow trying to turn onto the main road and luckily a bunch of men stopped and pushed me so I could get out. And then not even like two minutes later I was trying to turn onto the freeway and my wheels decided that they didn't want to turn but instead wanted to go straight into what would be a nose dive down off the entrance ramp. 

I was seriously panicking thinking about how likely I would be to survive the drop and desperately turning the wheel while slamming down on the brakes. The fresh snow ended up being a blessing because I got stuck again, just shy of plummeting to my possible death/serious injury. Again a bunch of men got out to try and help me reverse out but them pushing the car while I revved the gas was just not cutting it. One of them ended up having to hook me up to his car and tow me out. Mind you during this whole time I'm just trying to not have a panic attack that in all honesty had been a long time coming considering all the stress I'd been under the past week combined with the inhumane lack of sleep I was dealing with. Once I was out I popped my head out the window and yelled "Thank you!" and waved and drove off down the freeway ramp (the safe route this time). Then I called my mom and burst into tears and cried for thirty minutes of the forty minute drive to the temple. (Not a safe driving practice, definitely do not recommend. Especially on so little sleep.)

I did end up making it to the sealing on time and it was a relief to be in the temple again. I was the only person there who wasn't a relative but that was okay. It was my first live sealing and I think it's very fitting that it was Derity's. After the temple we took pictures at this lake thing across the street. As soon as my pictures were done I drove back to St Anthony to finish the cake. I called my mom again but this time it was more as an insurance policy that I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel. It took a while but I did get the cake done. I worked on it over the luncheon which was a little not fun since the luncheon food was being administered from the kitchen into the relief society room so the doors were wide open and everyone was watching me try to make the cake. I finished the cake with three minutes to spare before the reception started. It was an outdoor reception (beautiful but freezing cold) so her sister and I worked together to carry the cake outside. I was starving and my feet ached from standing in heels for so long so I went back in and ate like three bowls of soup by myself in the relief society room. It was nice to finally be DONE with everything and feel like I could actually breathe and wind down for the first time in weeks. I decided that as soon as the reception was over I was going straight home and crashing. I wouldn't even set an alarm, just let my body wake up when it was ready. So that's what I'm doing, wish me luck! 

Doesn't she look SO PRETTY?

P.S. Here is the cake!

12/5/20

 Today we dyed Macy and Sydney's hair! (We thought about doing mine too but it's kind of green right now and if I want to dye it again I'll likely need to bleach the green in order to get new color on.) Sydney already had blonde bottoms so we dyed them "flamingo pink" in hopes that it would end up fading to the rose quartz shade she was hoping for. She ended up totally loving the brighter pink that it came out to though. Macy's is more of a deep violet brown. It's hard to tell that her hair is dyed a color as opposed to just being darker. Until she's in the light that is. Whenever light, the sun particularly, catches on her hair it gets all iridescent and almost glows violet. 

The best part though was seeing Sydney beaming at herself in the mirror and in the most sincere and also giddy voice saying, "I haven't felt this confident in like two years you guys! I kid you not!" It melted my heart!    

12/3/20

 One year. ONE YEAR. I HAVE BEEN HOME FOR A WHOLE ENTIRE YEAR. It is so strange to think of all that's happened. I moved to Idaho and I'm finishing up my third semester here now. I started dating Vince. I stopped dating Vince. I learned a lot from that. I feel like I really settled into my convictions about the gospel this year. On the mission it's easy to have convictions about the gospel. You eat, sleep, and breathe it. It's all you know. The real test is when it starts to take a lot of work. And trust me it does. Mostly the little things, the prayers and the scripture studies. They add up. It was easier with Vince because I felt so responsible to be avid about reading scriptures together. I think that was really good for me. Since the break up it's been a little bit more difficult but I'm really trying. I sincerely and totally and completely want to live the kind of life that the gospel offers. I genuinely think that counts for something. 

11/29/20

Whenever I'm at home and Adam knows I'm visiting he will bring me home a giant Wendy's strawberry lemonade and it's the best thing. I love him so much.

Also today I went to Em's house and hung out with her and Josh and then Abbey texted me asking for some homework help so I left early and grabbed some Crumbl cookies on my way out and ate them with Abbey while we did some math stuff and it was just so fun actually! I just love my siblings. SO MUCH!

11/26/20

 This Thanksgiving was seriously lowkey. A lot of things this year have been super lowkey but I think it's been a good thing. It's helped to really focus on family. It's such a cliché statement but the tough times have really helped to hone in and focus on what is most important and I'm grateful for that. Especially with President Nelson's challenge to #GiveThanks I've been able to really reflect on the people in my life that make my life so much better and it's honestly warmed my heart to realize what phenomenal people I've been blessed with. 

11/25/20

 The day started out a little rough but ended really really good! I drove home today and before leaving I was going to donate plasma and there was a bonus on your second donation since it's Thanksgiving week. But I ended up eating breakfast way late because I'd gone to tutoring early only to discover they were actually closed so I figured I would just wait ten minutes at the MC and then get Chick-Fil-A when they opened at ten but then I realized a little too late that they weren't actually going to open today so I booked it to TacoTime and got some crisp meat burritos and literally inhaled them on my way to the plasma center. Then I couldn't even donate because my protein levels were low so that wasn't ideal. Once I finally started driving I accidentally took a wrong turn that forced me to drive in the opposite direction for about twenty minutes before I could turn around and drive another twenty minutes back to where I was supposed to turn and there was just a series of unfortunate events (in all reality it was actually just a series of minor inconveniences that I was not in the mood to deal with.) 

The good part though: I met up with Douglas Proctor again! We planned to meet up but didn't have a specific place yet and my internet connection has been having issues lately and so when I tried to message him on messenger it wouldn't go through and I ended up having to call my dad ask him to sign into my facebook and send him a message explaining that it wasn't working and that I'd actually need him to text me. I had my dad send my phone number over to him and it ended up all working out well. 

We met up at a park but I had accidentally parked on the opposite side so he just walked across the park to meet up with me. We didn't have much of a plan in place. He said he had originally planned to bring a frisbee but he left it in Logan and that worked out because the only shoes I had were heels. He threw out some ideas and one of them was the Living Planet Aquarium and I got really excited since I hadn't been there for a while so we went!

This is turning out to be a long post but it was a long day so we're just gonna go with it. Anyway, we drove in my car to the aquarium, which wasn't too far from the park. And holy cow I had so much fun. There was only an hour and a half until they closed so we semi sped walked through each of the areas and made jokes about fish being named "least chub" and I commented on how mesmerizing jellyfish were. We barely made it through everything before they closed. Afterwards I was just going to drop him off at his car but before we got there he asked if I wanted to go an get some pretzel bites at the mall nearby. So we diverted to the mall and got some pretzel bites and drove back to the park and ate them and talked in my car for another little while until finally he had to go if he wanted to have enough time to finish his homework. I had a lot of fun and it was definitely a great way to end off a day that had started not the greatest. 

11/14/20

 Wedding dress shopping day! I actually spent the night Friday since Derity's first appointment was early this morning. Not too early though because we ended up having time to go to an estate sale and I have learned that I'm not a huge fan of those. They sound kind of cool but I felt so intrusive like I was invading the life of this person who had passed away and that made me a particularly odd type of uncomfortable. The wedding dress shopping was fun though! Derity had three appointments set up for today and she found the dress she wanted at her second appointment so she let me try on wedding dresses at the third one and I lowkey felt like a princess and it was great. Here is a photo of the one she chose and also a video of me walking around looking dope in a wedding dress and also a photo of me in a wedding dress because why not?

11/12/20

 So. DERITY IS ENGAGED. She just texted me about it today! Apparently they have been planning it for a while now so she actually already has appointments for wedding dress shopping this weekend so that's what I'll be doing all day Saturday! I'm super excited! And Derity seems really happy so I'm excited for her! I'll make sure to include a photo of whatever she ends up getting on Saturday!

Also Macy filmed a slo-mo video of me letting my hair fall loose and it's so funny so I'm including it here:

11/09/20

 I drove back to Idaho today. I actually stopped in Logan to go out to lunch with an Elder from my mission, Elder Proctor. Except he isn't an Elder anymore so I can't really call him that. But it still seems weird to call him by his first name. Anyway, we got sushi! And it was like ridiculously good sushi. We met up at the sushi place but they didn't have dine in so we got in Douglas's car (see, that just felt strange to type out) and drove to a nearby park to eat the sushi. By the time we were done though I was absolutely freezing so I asked if we could sit in his car instead. So we did and it was fun. We chatted for a long while. I say 'we' but I worry I maybe talked a little too much haha. He told me this story about the nightmare of him and his brother trying to get home from a trip to Japan and I'm still laughing about it a little bit. I don't think anybody could be the amount of terrible layovers he had to endure. I swear it could have been one of Lemony Snicket's books because the whole thing was just a series of unfortunate events haha!

11/07/20

 Today I went out with Em and Josh! We got some food at Culvers and then all went back to Em's place and chatted a little. It was fun! I genuinely enjoy spending time with them. It's nice because they're very good at making me not feel third wheeled and I feel like I'm actually friends with both of them, not just with Em. He's really good for her and I'm so glad they found each other. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they got married next year.

Also: I took a calculus test today and did super bad so that was fun. 

11/05/20

 We drove back home today. We went to a fancy hotel across the street (which Mom and Dad want to try and stay in next time since it's actually very similar pricing) and played some mini golf there. Then we stopped at the University Mall in Provo and ate lunch in their food court. (Most of us got Chick Fil A) Megan needed to get her braces looked at since a wire was poking out so she and Mom went and did that while the rest of us stayed in the mall and looked around. It was a pretty chill day and overall a very fun trip. I'm grateful I got to be a part of it!

11/04/20

 We got to tour a dairy farm and it was actually really fun and really cool! Dad totally geeked out about it. With all the technological advances there are 3 people primarily in charge of 500 cows. They have these automatic milking robots that gather and collect data and then do some predictive analysis (which I actually thought was super legit.) They also have artificial insemination and selective breeding in order to get the best cows. There's this whole algorithm that takes info about all the cows and tells you which bull sperm to use to inseminate which cow in order to get the traits you want. It's legit wild. We also got to play with some calves and I let one suck on my fingers and it felt so strange and was super slobbery but still fun haha! I caught this gem on camera of a cow trying to lick me: 

11/03/20

 We got to go swimming in the crater at the Homestead tonight! I've wanted to do that for such a long time now so it was so fun to get to do it! The whole family went except for Alicia because she got freaked out that there would be sharks in it haha. Afterwards we went to the actual swimming pool and Mom and I left after everybody else and so we walked around together for a little while and just talked. It was really really nice.

11/02/20

 We started our trip today! We got to the Homestead and had a few issues with some bugs haha! There were quite a few in the hotel room and all the girls freaked out about it. Megan even asked to switch sides on the bed in order to be further from the window (where several bugs were found.) We also went shopping at the Park City Outlets and I paired up with Rachel and we both are super meticulous about making sure we buy things we really want so we took forever. We still hadn't spent anything by the time everybody else was finished spending everything. We ended up each getting a pair of high waisted jeans from American Eagle. I also ended up getting two sweaters from Old Navy (go figure haha) and some face masks from Old Navy as well to use for work. It was a pretty good day overall!

10/31/20

 Abbey put together a seriously awesome Halloween party for the family tonight. (Also a great breakfast where we had pumpkin shaped pancakes!) And since trick or treating was a no-go for us this year Mom got a bunch of GOOD candy and we also had cupcakes and chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin carving and we played mafia and (to my chagrin) watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. (I'm sorry I just don't get the hype, like?? If you're gonna watch a Tim Burton film then Corpse Bride is clearly the better option.) Here are some photos of me in costume (disclaimer the photos of me dressed up are from HalloWednesday but I did dress up today too!) 

10/30/20

 I drove down to Utah today! David ended up coming down with me which definitely made the drive a lot more fun. Watching that kid rock out to music will never cease to be hilarious. He gets so into it and it cracks me up honestly. However trying to choose a place to stop for dinner with him will take about 30-45 minutes and it's all just a train wreck the whole time haha. (We finally settled on MOD Pizza)

10/28/20

 Today was HalloWednesday. Since I would be out of town on Halloween we decided to do a little celebration on Wednesday and make a crap ton of soup and watch all of the Halloweentown movies. When I say a crap ton of soup I mean a crap ton of soup. Mira made a batch of tortellini soup and Macy made some potato soup and I made two batches of Zuppa Toscana (cause it's so flipping good you can't just make one batch ya know?) So yeah. Lot's of soup right? I figured the people I invited would come so the vast amount of soup wouldn't be a problem. I invited Will and Grant and David and Derity and Jerako and Macy had invited someone too. Grant couldn't come cause he had a date and I'd thought that Derity and Jerako were probably coming but then forty minutes after the party started I snapchatted Derity and she told me that they actually decided to stay in IF. And David had said he would swing by too but then he had somewhere to be at 7:00 and didn't want to just stop by and eat and then leave so he just didn't come at all. Macy's friend didn't come either. So literally only Will came. And I'm super grateful he did because it made me feel just a little less sad. I know that I'm an adult and all but I had actually been really excited about it and when nobody showed up I kind of felt like a little kid who threw a birthday party that no one came to. It wasn't the end of the world but it definitely sucked.

Macy, Mira, and I did end up watching all four Halloweentown movies though. We stayed up until 2:00 am and they were about the quality you'd expect from Disney Channel original movies. The first ones were actually pretty good since they were late nineties-early thousands. But the last one they made in the mid thousands and they had a different actress and it was so distastefully cliché. The most enjoyable thing about it was how easy it was to make fun of honestly. It was good to spend time with Macy and Mira though! I love those girls.

10/27/20

I cannot emphasize this enough: this calc course will be the death of me.

10/26/20

I think the guy who pulled out my IV at the plasma center today did something wrong cause there was more blood on the gauze then there should have been and the needle scratched me a little and I was way more exhausted than usual for the rest of the day. I binge watched the show "Marvel's Runaways" on Hulu and neglected my calculus duties and made some all around bad decisions. 

For FHE we went out as an apartment again and picked up dinner at the Panda Express drive through and the drive through chick was SO angry. I would try to order something and I'd start by saying the entree and in an incredibly annoyed voice she would say, "Rice or noodles first." But I kept forgetting and she would get more and more irritated and literally if she waited two seconds I would have told her rice or noodles but she would always interrupt me before I could get to it. Like it shouldn't matter should it? "Orange chicken with rice." is just as each to remember as "Rice with orange chicken." is it not?

Also Macy and I played "Among Us" and there was this other player named "Pattinson" so as a joke I was like, "Robert? Is that you??" And they were like, "Oh my gosh I LOVE HIM!" And basically Macy and I ended up bonding with Pattinson and also another player named Mum (who at one point was the imposter and then ended up just telling us because they felt so bad about killing us haha) and it was great.

10/25/20

 I got to do a phone call with Patri today and it was great and exactly what I needed honestly. We talked about anything and everything and all the in betweens. She told me about Theo and how they started talking and what they talk about and how she likes that they were platonic friends first and then they started liking each other. (It's better than way because you know you get along well with them and it's not just the butterflies of possible romance making you think you like them.)

She also gave me some great life advice. She said, "Anna you deserve someone who would be beyond ecstatic to get half birthday froyo with you." And I kind of love that. 

10/23/20

 Good thing: I got half birthday froyo and drove myself and my froyo to the temple and ate it and read scriptures and thought about things because today has been a rough day. Heck it's been a rough week if I'm being honest. Bad thing: Missing Vince has hit me really really hard tonight. Sometimes I really don't understand why things went the way they did and I still wish that things hadn't ended at all and we were still together. It's pointless to wonder about 'what if's' because they aren't realities but I keep thinking of how things were going to be when everything was going according to plan. If everything had worked out and things hadn't gotten so messed up then Vince would be here with me right now. There's a good chance we'd be engaged and if we weren't yet we would be soon. We'd be looking at apartments to live in and I'd be thinking about wedding colors and wedding dresses and I'd be really really happy. But instead I'm just sad and I'm crying in my room typing this out and relentlessly wishing for something that doesn't exist. Everything hurts all over again and I wish it didn't and I'm tired of hurting but then I think about how much he must be hurting and it makes me cry even harder. I loved him- I still do. And I hurt him so much and I want to take it back but I know I can't. I want to text him and tell him that I'm so sorry and that I miss him and that I love him and that I just want him back. I just want to feel his arms around me again and hear him laugh and I want to kiss his forehead and I want to hear him tell me that he loves me. But instead I'm trying to choke back sobs so that my roommates don't hear me cry and I still have so much calculus homework and I don't know what I'm doing and I just want to not be so sad. 

10/22/20

 Drove Ellen back from work. Also got mozzarella sticks. Ended up not getting half birthday froyo so that will have to be postponed to tomorrow.  I had a zoom call with Spence today and it was actually way way nice.

We ended up talking for a couple of hours and I really think we both needed it. We figured out that he had broken up with his girlfriend literally three days after I officially broke things off with Vince. Isn't that wild? And it took us like a friggin month to figure it out. Our relationship experiences were pretty similar and both of them were relationships that ended over gospel things. We were honestly able to relate to each other in a lot of areas and as much as the break ups have both seriously sucked it's nice to have somebody to talk to about it who understands. We talked about other things too. Like Brevin getting married and how difficult the whole "dating game" is and also how Mutual is dumb and stressful and how Nate McHenry and his fiancée seriously look like siblings and we reminisced on all the temple trips we would take and the giant order of chicken nuggets we would get after.  When I think about it I'm actually really lucky to have the friends that I have. Seriously. Spence and I have been friends since about ninth grade. I've been friends with Matt and Em and Mary and Rachael and Kennadee and Megan for about that long too. How did I get so lucky to find so many great people in those formative years who are still people I consider good friends to this day? Plus Patricia in Provo! And all my other Provo friends that I don't talk to as much but still am able to slip right back into being good friends with when we do talk /get together. The more I look back on my life the more I see how many people God blessed me with and I'm so so grateful for each one of them.

10/21/20

 David texted and asked if he could come over to do homework. I think it went okay. I think I've discovered that we are both naturally flirty people so that's gonna just kind of be our friendship but I can honestly say that now I won't be reading into any of it and I know we're just friends and that's actually pretty nice. He did have me give him a back massage though cause his back was hurting and turns out I suck at giving massages haha. He poked fun at my taste in literature (sci-fi is my favorite and I just checked out the Illuminae Files from the library and was super excited to tell him about it because I think they're just SO COOL but he was not interested in the slightest which did sting a little but I know he didn't mean for his disinterest to be hurtful. But then he has the audacity to tell me that biographies are better than sci-fi?? Excuse me?!? I don't think so. 

Get this though: He goes on to tell me that his favorite book actually isn't a biography. It's a Romeo and Juliet type love story about people in gangs. And I swear I wasn't gonna make fun of him (actually I'd be down to read it) but then he decided not to tell me the title or author so that I wouldn't have any ammo to hang over his head until the day we die which is totally not fair and it is my new life mission to learn what book it is exactly.

10/20/20

My day today was just absolutely packed with back to back things. I woke up and had work and then got ready for the day and then had my calculus group quiz and then more work and then I drove to Maggie's place where I worked from like 2:00-7:00 (I ended up taking on an extra student because the other tutor's car broke down and she couldn't make it in.) I finally got home at like 7:45 and I was starving and still had four calculus assignments that were due and it was all just very overwhelming. 

I need to scream into a pillow. 

10/18/20

Update on the whole David thing: there officially isn't a David thing anymore haha. Last night he sent me a snap and asked if I'd be able to house a 'friend' from Utah if she came up to visit him this next week. I told him I would have to check with my housing coordinator (cause COVID and whatnot) and I was just getting so many freaking mixed signals so I decided I was gonna talk to him about it tonight after we did our Sunday dinner. He ended up having plans right after so my whole idea of maybe taking a drive and talking about it wasn't gonna happen and I was trying to find a good time to bring it up or segue into it the whole evening but Michelle and Ellen were walking in and out and it just wasn't happening so when it came time for him to leave I walked him to his car and literally at the last second I was like, "Hey so just a quick question, quick discussion, um remember a little bit ago when we decided to be just friends? Where are we at on that because I'm honestly super confused." He was like, "Me too. I think what we decided last time was best though."(More than this was said but essentially that's the gist of it and the conclusion.)

It was abrupt and definitely a short conversation. He texted me a couple hours later to confirm that we were good and I was just like the most up front I've ever been in my entire life and told him where I was at and he pretty much was like, "I just don't have any of the same friends right now as I did this time last year and I don't want that to happen again and things just seem to not work out with girls and I wouldn't want that to happen with you." Which I get, whether that's straight up what it is or whether he was trying to let me down easy and not just upfront tell me that he wasn't interested in me like that. So that's what's happening now. We are friends. 100% platonic. And I'm gonna convince myself to be okay with that. 

10/16/20

 I 've officially got Macy and Mira hooked on Killing Eve and now we're all watching the show together and I love having shows with people. It makes me happy happy happy.

10/15/20

 I made a crap ton of homemade mac n cheese today also I feel very overwhelmed and completely in over my head with calculus and I wanna just give up holy crap I cannot.

10/14/20

I was reminiscing and looking through my google drive and found "How Heidi Met Dave" which is an incredibly elaborate story my roommates and I came up with in my first semester of college at BYU Provo and it honestly brought me so much joy to stumble upon this gem. 

10/13/20

 I drove Ellen to work today! She wasn't able to get her usual ride and so I offered to drive her there (even though it made my schedule a little bit crazier it was worth it!) I've really been trying to look for and utilize opportunities to serve and this one fell in my lap today! It was nice as well to spend some time with Ellen. I feel like I don't know her and Michelle as well as I do Macy and Mira. I wasn't able to pick her up since I had work meetings scheduled in the evening but Macy was able to go get her so it worked out!

10/11/20

 We put up the bats!! Also I watched 10 Things I Hate About You and I love Heath Ledger and that movie and also I love my roommates! Macy and Mira are seriously just so cute and fun and I'm grateful for the light that they both bring into my life. As promised, here are pictures of the bats:

*Please note the spider and spider web in the upper left hand corner of which I am also very proud

10/10/20

 Legit such a crazy day. I did have my first day of training for the new job though! I met up with this girl named Sam who works in the Pocatello office and spent like three hours going through all the different sites and resources we have access to and where all the passwords are kept and everything I'm gonna have to learn how to do eventually and it's all a little overwhelming but I'm still excited. A lot of it she says is honestly stuff that I'm just gonna learn as I go so I do feel a little like I'm flying blind but I know I'll pick up on it.

Also I had to take my second calculus exam today and it was so frustrating and I hate calc. I felt like I'd done really bad and my mom laughed when I told her I got an 85% and she says that she refuses to listen to me anymore when I tell her I'm bad at calculus. 

10/9/20

 OKAY BUT LIKE YOU DON'T PUT YOUR HAND ON A GIRLS THIGH WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING UNLESS YOU LIKE THEM RIGHT??

And you definitely don't park the car and then lay your head on their lap and let them scratch your side while you scratch their leg and there's a weird feeling in the air like you both wanna say something but nobody ends up saying anything because life is awkward. 

I wish I'd said something. I should have said something. 

10/7/20

 Macy and I organized a double date type thing. Ish. Basically we both had first dates with these guys on Mutual and then we were talking and realized that both of us were planning to go to Kiwi Loco for the dates and so we decided to try and coordinate them. Unfortunately the guys schedules conflicted so her guy could only do 5:00 at the latest and mine 5:30 at the earliest. So we did a weird thing where she and her date did the first half just them and then me and my date joined and then we were on a double for a while until their date was over and then we finished ours. 

My date was super nice, his name is Mauro and he's from Peru and he told me I was beautiful but like in a way that didn't come off as creepy so that was nice. I still don't know what this thing with David is (or if there is a thing?? Ugh) so I ended up setting up a second date with Mauro next Tuesday. I offered him a ride to his apartment since he had come to Kiwi Loco right after a class on campus. As we were walking to my car David and his roommate were walking into their apartment building and we exchanged brief hello's but didn't actually stop and talk. I dropped Mauro off and then I actually had set up with David to hang out at his apartment right after the date so then I went there and David asked about the date and then we hung out and things are still flirty and I don't know what's happening but I figure the ball is in his court so we'll see.

10/5/20

 I'm trying to get in a scripture study habit and also a habit of asking God what I can do for Him each day. Today one of the things I felt like I should do was text Patricia! So I did! And here is what happened: 

Turns out Patri was going through a bit of a rough patch with things and I was able to give her some advice about it all to which she responded with:

"Anna. Freaking heck. I don't know why I don't come to you as much because you always know what to say. That helps me a lot actually. I'm going to have a dance party for a bit and then put my list of things to do back together and be happy again in a few days. I just know it. Seriously, thank you."

I really love Patricia and I'm so glad we're still best friends, even if our lives are very different and we live basically across the country from each other right now. (I mean she is doing pre-med at MIT and I'm doing stats at BYU-Idaho, not to say that one is more accomplished than the other but *coughcough MIT is so impressive and she is so impressive and I'm honestly amazed by her cough* despite the different paths we take we always find a way to be there for each other and I love that. I love that I have this person in my life that has been there since 8th grade and every time we see each other it's so natural and nice and it feels like home. I'm also really glad I could help her out today just by following a prompting from the Lord.

10/4/20

 You're getting a few long posts in a row cause I have a lot I wanna say today. Again, today was General Conference. I had invited Derity and Jerako and David over for the first session. I had been craving biscuits and gravy so I actually went out and got ingredients for it last night. David came over a little early and we made the breakfast for everyone! I definitely made a mistake in calculating how much milk to put in with the Bisquick mix for the biscuits. It said 2/3 cup for each serving and it had 8 servings. I did the math and I was like, "Okay that's 16/3 then so... 8 cups!" I didn't realize until the seventh cup when things got ultra liquidy that it was actually supposed to be 5 and 1/3 cups. Luckily I had a back up Bisquick box and we added more mix in. It was still more like a batter than it usually was but it had gotten fairly firm and so we just kept it that consistency and it actually ended up so good! They still came out really big but they were all airy and fluffy and so so good. The gravy worked out too and it all tasted heavenly. 

The sessions were really good again (obviously) and I feel like a major theme for this whole conference has been preparedness and selflessness. At least that's what I got out of it. So I started trying to think about what I could do in order to be more prepared. I decided that I really wanted to focus on serving others more. I have lots of extra journals so I want to designate one as my prayer journal and in my prayers at the beginning of the day ask the Lord what He needs me to do that day. I want to spend time after pondering and then writing down what I think I can do. At the end of the day I want to come back and make an accounting and continually strive to be better. I feel like I will certainly be a lot more prepared to receive personal revelation.

I've just felt a lot lately like now is the time to really work on myself. Work not only on becoming and being the kind of person I want to marry but also on becoming and being the kind of mother I hope to be. There's this one quote I found online before heading off to college. Things felt rough and my mental health was fragile. But this quote honestly brought me so much strength. It goes like this:

"In the end I am the only one who can give my children a happy mother who loves life." 

The more that I think about it and the more I think about the promptings I've been receiving lately the more I realize that this is kind of my life motto right now. THAT is what I want to do and I am the only one who can do it. Thinking of my future children and the life that I want for them is a big motivator for me.

Some fun things today though: Mira made chicken gnocchi soup for dinner, like the kind they have at Olive Garden, and it was literally the best thing every. What a good food day! Mira also had a ton of extra black construction paper so we spent a good amount of time cutting bats out of it to put up for Halloween decorations. I'll have to take a picture once it's all finished and on the walls and post it here.

(PS everybody else in my family has tested negative for COVID which is good but also not great cause they're still exposed to it and if they'd all just get sick at the same time then they could all be quarantined at the same time and just get the two weeks of quarantine out of the way.)

10/3/20

I woke up this morning to a text from my mom letting me know that she had tested positive for COVID too. Everybody else in the fam went to get tested this morning so hopefully we will know all of their results soon. Good thing from today though:

General Conference!! I watched the first session with Macy, Mira, and Ellen. (Michelle is in Utah for the weekend) Then I went to Derity's family's house in St Anthony and we did lunch and watched the second session. They had these really yummy tomato slice things. I think it was just feta cheese and balsamic vinegar but it was super tasty. Then I went back home and watched the women's session with my roommates. The talk that stood out to me the most today was one from the afternoon session that was all about the "culture of Christ" and in it he quoted David O. McKay.

"The perfection of the family is worth any sacrifice because nothing can compensate for failure in the home."

It just hit home for me so hard. All of this stuff with Vince has been so difficult and choosing to break up with him was the absolute hardest decision I've ever had to make. I really did feel like I was sacrificing something by following the spirit in breaking up with him. I can't remember if I've talked about already on here but the biggest reason I knew I couldn't marry him anymore was because everything in our future that we disagreed on were things that would have the biggest impact on our future family. It had never hit me so hard before that in choosing a spouse I am also choosing a parent for my children and that's my responsibility. They can't speak for themselves right now so it's all on me and I have to follow the spirit on this one. Hearing that just made me feel like the Lord was speaking right to me and telling me that as difficult as it's been (on me but even more so on Vince) it was something that was worth it. That honestly helped me so much.

Tender mercy of today: Right after the women's session ended I got a FaceTime call from Mary. Just out of the blue. It honestly just MADE my whole day. We talked for a little while and she said that she just had missed me and felt like we hadn't talked as just us and not the group for a hot minute. Honestly the past few days God has really been showing me that He has my back. Or maybe I've just gotten better at recognizing it.  

10/2/20

 So. Today I was supposed to drive down to Utah to spend conference weekend with my family and I was actually so excited. I miss talking to my Mom and I miss Dad's lame jokes and all my siblings. I've honestly felt a little bit lonely lately. While I do have fantastic roommates (which does help a lot and I am so thankful for them) I feel like everybody that I'm super close to is far away. Em and my family are in Utah. Derity is in Idaho Falls and is spending a lot of time with Jerako (which like, they're dating so of course they are and he makes her really happy so I'm glad she has him) and I also haven't seen David like at all this week and it just kind of sucks. Okay WOW I got off topic. What the point of this paragraph is supposed to be is that I did not end up going to Utah. Turns out Alicia tested positive for COVID-19. Which is honestly a little scary but I think that everyone in our family should be okay. I'm not afraid anyone is going to die but there is always that lingering fear because everybody always thinks it won't happen to them until it does. Good news is that I ended up having a lot more free time today.

I actually did get to see Derity today and we went out shopping because I convinced her she should get a menstrual cup. There was only like one option for a menstrual cup at Walmart and it was more expensive than the online ones plus it wasn't one that had a pull tab. We decided she might as well just order the pull tab one. We did find soft soft sweatpants though and we got those and then went out to Pizza Pie Cafe for dinner. Way earlier this year, during Winter semester, I had really wanted to go but then our roommates who we were going out to eat with were like, "No that won't work let's go to this place which should be cheaper instead!" It was pretty much the same price though and I ordered very little food because it was actually pretty pricey for something that was supposed to be fast-casual and I got like two overpriced chicken tenders that were itty bitty. I was so salty about that for forever. And then like the next week everything started shutting down and we couldn't even go any more. So I finally finally got to go today after months of craving it.

9/30/20

I went to donate plasma for the first time today and oh boy was it an experience. The good news is that I got a free shirt out of it! The bad news is that the only reason I got the free shirt is because my body freaked out and decided it needed to vomit and some of it got on my shirt so that was super gross. 

There was a cute guy working there though so that was also a bonus. Except for when I threw up on myself and he witnessed the aftermath.

The true bonus though is that after the whole ordeal I decided that I deserved Taco Bell so I went and got some and it was delicious. 

9/27/20

 Today I got set apart for my new calling as an indexing specialist in the ward. Since Elders Quorum is now over family history and temple work I got set apart by Kyon, who was in charge of the FHE group with me last semester. Yesterday was obviously a really stressful day and I was still having a rough time and in my setting apart I know Kyon was directed by the spirit to say things that would help me. I was told that if I could take this calling seriously I would be blessed not only with spiritual growth but in my relationships and in my school work. I kind of felt like God was reassuring me that he would take care of Vince and I can focus on taking care of myself. I just felt incredible peace wash over me and I'm honestly really grateful. I really needed that. I know that God is looking out for me too and it always aware of where I'm at and today was just another little reminder of that. 

9/26/20

 Today was easily one of the more difficult days I've had to experience. Vince texted me this morning with some seriously concerning stuff and it stressed me out of my mind all day. I know he didn't mean to stress me out or make me feel like what he was going through was my fault but he did. I'm still glad he contacted me and told me what was going on though. I wish so desperately that I could actually be there for him but I honestly don't think that would be very healthy for either of us. I had to keep reminding myself that him not doing well is not my fault. Our break up may have played a role in him experiencing this right now but ultimately even if I stayed with him he would still be struggling with this. It's something that requires legitimate professional help and no matter what I could do to help, I can't do that. 

I had my first calculus exam due today as well and I was so worried about it. I ended up asking my professor if I could get an extension on the deadline and he pushed it back to be due on Monday just before midnight so I have some more time now which is good. That on top of everything with Vince was really making me spiral. I was able to take a nap after lots and lots of crying. I woke up dehydrated and starving and with a killer headache. I grabbed some Taco Time, popped a pain reliever, and then spent the rest of the day with David watching the NBA Western Finals and then some Blindspot and just hanging out. The break was most definitely needed and I'm grateful he's nearby. Especially with Derity living in IF now. It was a rough day and I'm grateful it's over. I talked with Vince's Bishop about looking out for him and I feel better about the whole situation even though I know that I can't do much. There's somebody there who can and that's comforting. 

9/25/20

 I was technically supposed to have another Mutual date tonight with some other guy but he had to cancel cause he had a sinus infection. So now all my roommates and I call him 'sinus infection guy' which I'm sure is not a nickname he would have chosen for himself haha! I ended up hanging out with David tonight instead which honestly I was grateful for because another Mutual date sounded exhausting. 

9/24/20

 I had my first date from the Mutual app and it was... awkward. I don't know what I was expecting. It wasn't bad per se. I just wasn't really feeling it and he was a bit of an awkward dude. I tried to make a joke about my job as a TA: "Things are really slow at the beginning of the semester but then all the sudden in the middle of the semester everybody wants to be your friend!" He got real serious all the sudden as was like, "Those people don't actually want to be your friends you know. They're just using you." And I didn't really know how to respond so I was just like, "Haha yeah I guess you're right!" I feel like that interaction pretty much sums up the feel of the whole night. 

9/23/20

 I'm starting to feel more confident with calculus now. We are doing all this derivative stuff now and it's actually making some sense!

What's not making a ton of sense: this whole thing with David where we talked about being more than friends and decided to just be friends for now. Like holy cow. I am getting so many mixed signals so that's great.But also I'm okay with just being friends. It feels like a weird in between now but I'd rather have that than nothing at all.

9/22/20

 So. Boys are confusing. Also figuring out how to get over a break up or even if I'm over breaking up with Vince in the first place is difficult. I've never been through any of this before and I don't know how long it takes. Some days are good and other days are difficult and I'm still hurting. I still have his sweatshirt. And it still smells like him. And I still bury my face in it and breathe the scent of him in sometimes. I hate how much I hurt him, it's killing me. But I just keep remembering that God cares about him even more than I do and that God is watching out for him right now. I know in the end it'll all be okay, I just hope that he can see that too with everything that he's going through right now. 

My mom gave me some good advice on moving on though. If it comes naturally and you don't feel like you're forcing it in regards to flirting with someone else and whatnot, then you're good. Just let what happens happen. So I'm trying to do that. 

9/21/20

 I feel as if I may finally be starting to get in a good groove. My roommates and I will all share the living room to do homework during the day and I love that. I've switched my scripture studies to be first thing when I wake up and it has helped me get SO much more out of them. It's also helped me to do better with my morning prayers. Really I'm just trying to focus on being the best version of myself possible and to enjoy as many moments as I can. I am working to become someone who can easily say that they love life.

9/19/20

Finished week one of school. It was overwhelming to review everything I needed to for calculus and there were more times than I'd like to admit that I was on the verge of tears and thinking that maybe I couldn't actually do this. But I did it and it all worked out!

It's only been one week but I already feel such a good bond with my new roommates and I am so grateful that I switched apartments. Yesterday they invited me out to play ultimate frisbee with them and I went and had fun and tonight we all watched a rom-com together. I think a lesson that I've definitely learned is that it's not worth it to be tolerant of having people in your life that don't make you feel loved and confident.

I realized that even though I've felt a little in over my head this week, I am incredibly happy and content because I have great people and great friendships in my life.  

9/7/20

 Labor Day! We drove up to Logan and spent today with James and Brittany's family. We ended up at Old Navy because Lucy had this really cute romper on and they said they got it there on sale so we all went and Abbey, Rachel, Alicia, and I all got rompers and I'm not gonna lie, I look and feel so cute in them haha!

9/6/20

 We visited the Saratoga Springs temple construction site as a family for church today and it's insane how quickly it's popping up. I'm so excited to be able to see the finished product and one day be able to go inside as well! They've got this long stretch kind of like a driveway leading up to it and it's going to be so so beautiful once it's all done. 

I was also thinking today about why losing Vince has been so extremely difficult. I've had people leave my life before but it has never been so painful as this break up has been. One reason is because I think it was so abrupt but I also realized that when we broke up I didn't just lose him. We had such a solidified plan for our future together, complete with dates and locations. There's a greater feeling of loss because I lost all of those things too. All these plans that were what dictated my life for months are no longer actually what my future will look like and that's been difficult to accept. I'm getting there though, slowly but surely.

+

9/5/20

 

Megan decided that today was "Sisters Fun Day" so we all (Alicia excluded because she didn't want to participate) picked something that we wanted to do and went out and did it! Abbey wanted to go ice skating so we all went to Peaks Ice Arena and skated. Then Rachel wanted to walk around downtown Provo and take pictures so we did that. We headed home to watch Coco, per Megan's request, and finally we did a little bit of karaoke for my fun thing. I just love them so much and I'm really grateful for the memories we got to make today and the relationship we all have together. 

9/2/20

 The break up is still hard. I figure it's something to document since it's my first breakup and honestly I'm utterly heartbroken by it all. It is easily the most difficult decision I've ever had to make and while I still feel confident it was the right one, that doesn't take the pain away. The only thing holding me together through this is faith that I'm following God and faith that He is watching over Vince right now because I can't. Gosh. I really really hope that Vince is okay. 

I started thinking about it all too much again today and started to cry as I was driving. If it's hurting me this much I can only imagine how much it's hurting him and I'm finding it difficult to forgive myself for causing him that much pain. I do feel however that I'll be able to forgive myself of this eventually because it will end up far better for the both of us. And I couldn't forgive myself for robbing both of us of that future I'm placing my faith in. 

8/27/20

 So. I broke up with Vince today. And nothing has ever hurt more than what I'm feeling right now. And maybe that seems dramatic and I used to think that people who said that were dramatic. But experiencing the pain of a break up hurts a whole lot more than I ever thought it would.

8/7/20

I got a job working as a TA for my old stats teacher during this summer session and it's actually proven to be pretty lucrative so far. I've got to be up by 7:45 am Monday-Thursday which has definitely been an adjustment but I'm working on it haha

7/21/2020

Me again. I've come bearing more apologies for being literally the suckiest at keeping this blog up. Really I know that I don't have any excuses because it's not like there's a ton going on. There's still the corona virus and there is still a lot going on in the world. This whole year kind of feels like a dream so far honestly. BUT, these past couple of days were really really nice. 

Vince came to Utah and stayed with my family for a few days! My parents and siblings finally got to meet him in person and as it would turn out, he fits right in. They all really love him. He's already being referred to as part of our family by my younger siblings. 

I dropped him off at the airport this morning and he's back in AZ again and I already miss him. It was so nice having him here and having him be with my family. It felt so natural and so happy. Before this trip it was weird because Vince and my family were so separate, him in AZ and them in UT and me in ID. I feel so much better now that everything has been able to kind of come together now. 

Vinny + Me

6/28/20

Wow. I seriously suck. I am so sorry! I totally fell out of the habit of daily posting. I'm gonna try to start it back up again. As for today, Derity and I hung out with Wallace and Alvarez. They're staying at Wallace's grandparents in Utah and we drove down for the weekend. We stayed over in a spare room last night and have just been hanging out all day and it has actually been so much fun and super chill. Just hanging with our buddies and it's actually really relaxing. 

5/15/20

My trip to AZ finally came!!And Vince met my parents over Zoom today and I feel like it went really well! Plus he also let me borrow his hoodies so... I guess you could say it's getting pretty serious... haha!

5/9/2020

Okay it's honestly pathetic how bad I've been at typing these up. I'm still trying to get used to the new set up of online classes and this new online job and learning how to juggle everything in my schedule. I feel like I might finally be starting to settle into a rhythm though!

5/1/2020

I'm currently a combination of ice cream, tater tots, and failure. My motivation during this quarantine is like at an all time low...

4/22/20

I'm officially twenty one! And man does a government mandated quarantine make it hard to party on your birthday! Mom and I made my ice cream cake and made curry for dinner. We grabbed lunch at Arby's and parked in the parking lot in front of the temple so that we could be by it since we can't go inside right now. My mom helped me recreate a meme to post for my birthday and I'm still cracking up about how funny I think I am. I got this insanely awesome set of pots and pans that I'm absolutely in love with oh my goodness! And Derity got me a cute lil plant that I decided to name Fernando originally but have since decided to name Luis as a tribute to my favorite character in Ant Man. We also all played Bananagrams and watched Ant Man and the Wasp since Derity hadn't seen it yet. All in all, a pretty good quarantine birthday.

4/21/20

My Momma came up today so that she can be here for my birthday tomorrow and we tried to reassemble my bike and boy oh boy are we bad at that! We had to ask Derity to come and help and bring the tools we needed.

4/19/20

Today I got to do a group Zoom call with all my girls! All six of us! It was me and Em and Rach and Kenns and Mary and Megan and it was so fun!! Kennadee came on pretty late and when she did I was like, "Well... Rachael has some big news!" and Rach just went with it and was like, "I bet you can guess what it is..." and Kennadee got so excited and was like, "Wait are you pregnant?!?" and we all busted up laughing and she was like, "You guys! You can't trick me like that!" It was golden. And it was so good to get together and talk with each other. I love my girls 💓

4/17/20

I really should be better at remembering to do this because what else have I got to do in self isolation, right? Honestly my sleeping schedule is thrown off entirely (my own doing) and I'm bored out of my mind and starting season 6 of the show 24 also starting up on my second embroidery pattern. Oh. And I dyed the bottoms of my hair purple. This quarantine though...

Here, have some photos depicting a few of my quarantine adventures:

Purple hair because, why not?

Posing with statues in the campus gardens

My first embroidery creation

4/1/20

It snowed today which felt like an April fools joke from Mother Nature since it hasn't snowed in weeks now. BUT I also made a chocolate chip pound cake today AND IT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL AAHHH!

3/31/20

I had to take two exams today. I'm ready to be done with exams.

3/30/20

Vince is honestly just so freaking sweet. And I miss him a lot. Let me tell ya, COVID-19 makes long distance relationships that much harder; I had to postpone my flight to AZ by over a month.

3/29/20

I decided to walk to the Rexburg Temple by myself. I've been feeling drawn to the temple lately and even though they're all shut down for right now and I couldn't go inside I still wanted to be around it. Once I finally got there I just sat down in front of it and it was so peaceful just being there. I haven't felt at ease for a while, especially with all the COVID-19 stuff going on. But the temple was such a solace. I'm so grateful to have it in my life and better yet to have it so close that I could walk there.

3/27/20

You'd think with nothing to do these past few days I would be better at posting, but alas. We've had dinner with Wallace and Alvarez and Matt quite a few nights in a row now which has been nice. Derity made burgers. I made potato casserole. We had ice cream and pizza. We've watched a lot of The Good Doctor. I've been watching way too many things on Netflix and have managed to rope myself into the worst sleeping schedule ever. It's hard when it's the same thing over and over again now that Rexburg is officially on lock down.

Today though we had Derity's sisters over and also her brothers girlfriend, Katje (pronounced like "Caught-jah") for a girls night. We watched a couple episodes of "Say Yes To The Dress" and I painted everyone's nails. Here's the kicker though. The whole girls night was just a front to get Katje's nails done because she doesn't know it but she's gonna get proposed to tomorrow! Only Derity and I knew! It was fun and I felt kind of sneaky knowing I was painting her nails so that she could have cute pictures taken of them tomorrow once she's got the ring on!

3/22/20

Today I was somehow convinced into going on a hike at R Mountain with Derity, David, Will, and Matthew. As much as I hate hiking, I have to admit that the view blows me away every time. I took a pretty cool time lapse.

3/21/20

At like 8:00 pm Wallace and Alvarez called us up and were like, "You guys need to come to the bowling alley right now!" So we went over and played two rounds and I am pretty bad at bowling but it turns out all of us are but Alvarez so I still got second place!

3/19/20

Derity and I went to a craft store today that is getting bought out so everything was mad cheap. The shelves were practically bare but I found a few things to make a decoration for my room and I'm actually really excited!

3/18/20

I checked out some books from the school library today. I am already 175 pages into the first one and have been avoiding finishing up my first draft of an essay for my writing class.

In other news, all of Spring term is going to be officially online so basically everyone is deciding to leave and go home. But I don't wanna go home. I've felt kind of off today and I'm finding myself upset at lots of little things and my brain keeps trying to convince itself that everyone is neglecting me but I'm pretty sure that's not the case. I just need to finish this essay and get through the day.

On the bright side, it's my dad's birthday today. Happy Birthday Dad! I got to Face Time him and Adam and the girls for a little while and it was really nice to get to talk to them.

3/17/20

I went to a park with Derity and Chanamy and it was right next to a river that had been dammed off and so we got to wander around on a lot of rocks that used to be covered by water and then it started raining and I actually enjoyed it so much. Then it started hailing so we walked back to Derity's car and then went to the Eckman household where we had hot cocoa and things were nice.

3/16/20

I got to call and talk to my Mom for an hour today and man have I missed talking with her.

3/15/20

Today was the first Sunday that our church meetings were canceled due to COVID-19 and it was kinda weird but actually really cool. A good chunk of our FHE group met up in Brighams Mill lounge and we had our own little sacrament meeting. We had an opening prayer and hymn and everything and then they administered the sacrament which was an incredibly sacred thing to experience. We watched President Eyring's talk from last General Conference, "Holiness and the Plan of Happiness." Afterwards we did Come Follow Me. In total it took a little over an hour and a half so it wasn't too different from regular church. Just the location and the congregation size.

3/14/20

Totally spaced that it was “Pi Day” today until the very end when we were at Wallace and Alvarez’s apartment and one of their neighbors invited us them over for pie.

We spent a good chunk of the day hanging out with them and they got us hooked on the show “The Good Doctor.” We even played a little bit of volleyball and basketball which we were all pretty terrible at.

3/13/20

Derity and I went to Winco today and it was surreal to see so many shelves of things completely cleared out. On a more normal note though, we ended up doing karaoke with David and a bunch of strangers so that was interesting. They had free pizza so we had to go. I ended up singing Hey Soul Sister and it was only minorly embarrassing.

3/12/20

It feels just a little like the world is ending with all the COVID-19 stuff happening. Church meetings are suspended for the time being and all classes will be online for at least the rest of the semester. In the adjustment classes are cancelled through the 17th while they reconfigure them for an online teaching structure. Plus like there is no toilet paper to be found at any store any where.

3/10/20

As it would turn out, I actually really enjoy the kickboxing workout sessions offered here at BYU-I.

3/7/20

I basically did nothing all day today except take my stats test, freeze my toes off at the ice castles, and eat twelve rolls at Texas Roadhouse.

3/6/20

I was able to donate blood for the first time today. It was a little freaky and I'm definitely not a big fan of needles being stuck in me for extended periods of time but it went well and I didn't pass out (however I did end up getting a little light headed.) They spelled my last name wrong on the sticker but they also gave me orange juice, cookies, and pizza so I think I can overlook the mistake.

3/4/20

Frustration of today: I thought my stats quiz was only going to be like twenty questions max so I didn't start it until like 11:25 (it was due at 11:59) BUT, as it would turn out, it was the review quiz which has 45 QUESTIONS. I wasn't able to finish it all in time and only got a 33.86/41 which brought my grade down to an A- and I'm just exasperated and upset with myself.

Happy moment of today: I woke up this morning to a text from Vince that said, "So much love, beauty and greatness packed into a cute little frame of just 5'2".💓" And that just made me feel so good all day and man do I just really love this guy.