10/3/20

I woke up this morning to a text from my mom letting me know that she had tested positive for COVID too. Everybody else in the fam went to get tested this morning so hopefully we will know all of their results soon. Good thing from today though:

General Conference!! I watched the first session with Macy, Mira, and Ellen. (Michelle is in Utah for the weekend) Then I went to Derity's family's house in St Anthony and we did lunch and watched the second session. They had these really yummy tomato slice things. I think it was just feta cheese and balsamic vinegar but it was super tasty. Then I went back home and watched the women's session with my roommates. The talk that stood out to me the most today was one from the afternoon session that was all about the "culture of Christ" and in it he quoted David O. McKay.

"The perfection of the family is worth any sacrifice because nothing can compensate for failure in the home."

It just hit home for me so hard. All of this stuff with Vince has been so difficult and choosing to break up with him was the absolute hardest decision I've ever had to make. I really did feel like I was sacrificing something by following the spirit in breaking up with him. I can't remember if I've talked about already on here but the biggest reason I knew I couldn't marry him anymore was because everything in our future that we disagreed on were things that would have the biggest impact on our future family. It had never hit me so hard before that in choosing a spouse I am also choosing a parent for my children and that's my responsibility. They can't speak for themselves right now so it's all on me and I have to follow the spirit on this one. Hearing that just made me feel like the Lord was speaking right to me and telling me that as difficult as it's been (on me but even more so on Vince) it was something that was worth it. That honestly helped me so much.

Tender mercy of today: Right after the women's session ended I got a FaceTime call from Mary. Just out of the blue. It honestly just MADE my whole day. We talked for a little while and she said that she just had missed me and felt like we hadn't talked as just us and not the group for a hot minute. Honestly the past few days God has really been showing me that He has my back. Or maybe I've just gotten better at recognizing it.