9/7/20

 Labor Day! We drove up to Logan and spent today with James and Brittany's family. We ended up at Old Navy because Lucy had this really cute romper on and they said they got it there on sale so we all went and Abbey, Rachel, Alicia, and I all got rompers and I'm not gonna lie, I look and feel so cute in them haha!

9/6/20

 We visited the Saratoga Springs temple construction site as a family for church today and it's insane how quickly it's popping up. I'm so excited to be able to see the finished product and one day be able to go inside as well! They've got this long stretch kind of like a driveway leading up to it and it's going to be so so beautiful once it's all done. 

I was also thinking today about why losing Vince has been so extremely difficult. I've had people leave my life before but it has never been so painful as this break up has been. One reason is because I think it was so abrupt but I also realized that when we broke up I didn't just lose him. We had such a solidified plan for our future together, complete with dates and locations. There's a greater feeling of loss because I lost all of those things too. All these plans that were what dictated my life for months are no longer actually what my future will look like and that's been difficult to accept. I'm getting there though, slowly but surely.

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9/5/20

 

Megan decided that today was "Sisters Fun Day" so we all (Alicia excluded because she didn't want to participate) picked something that we wanted to do and went out and did it! Abbey wanted to go ice skating so we all went to Peaks Ice Arena and skated. Then Rachel wanted to walk around downtown Provo and take pictures so we did that. We headed home to watch Coco, per Megan's request, and finally we did a little bit of karaoke for my fun thing. I just love them so much and I'm really grateful for the memories we got to make today and the relationship we all have together. 

9/2/20

 The break up is still hard. I figure it's something to document since it's my first breakup and honestly I'm utterly heartbroken by it all. It is easily the most difficult decision I've ever had to make and while I still feel confident it was the right one, that doesn't take the pain away. The only thing holding me together through this is faith that I'm following God and faith that He is watching over Vince right now because I can't. Gosh. I really really hope that Vince is okay. 

I started thinking about it all too much again today and started to cry as I was driving. If it's hurting me this much I can only imagine how much it's hurting him and I'm finding it difficult to forgive myself for causing him that much pain. I do feel however that I'll be able to forgive myself of this eventually because it will end up far better for the both of us. And I couldn't forgive myself for robbing both of us of that future I'm placing my faith in. 

8/27/20

 So. I broke up with Vince today. And nothing has ever hurt more than what I'm feeling right now. And maybe that seems dramatic and I used to think that people who said that were dramatic. But experiencing the pain of a break up hurts a whole lot more than I ever thought it would.

8/7/20

I got a job working as a TA for my old stats teacher during this summer session and it's actually proven to be pretty lucrative so far. I've got to be up by 7:45 am Monday-Thursday which has definitely been an adjustment but I'm working on it haha

7/21/2020

Me again. I've come bearing more apologies for being literally the suckiest at keeping this blog up. Really I know that I don't have any excuses because it's not like there's a ton going on. There's still the corona virus and there is still a lot going on in the world. This whole year kind of feels like a dream so far honestly. BUT, these past couple of days were really really nice. 

Vince came to Utah and stayed with my family for a few days! My parents and siblings finally got to meet him in person and as it would turn out, he fits right in. They all really love him. He's already being referred to as part of our family by my younger siblings. 

I dropped him off at the airport this morning and he's back in AZ again and I already miss him. It was so nice having him here and having him be with my family. It felt so natural and so happy. Before this trip it was weird because Vince and my family were so separate, him in AZ and them in UT and me in ID. I feel so much better now that everything has been able to kind of come together now. 

Vinny + Me